Guan

home

How Julian Assange will escape

17 Aug 2012

It’s still possible that Julian Assange will spend the rest of his life, or maybe just 15 years, in Flat 3B. But that’s no fun.

It’s been suggested that even if he can get into a diplomatic car, the British can arrest him when he leaves the car to board a plane for Quito.

However, if he can get into the car, the Ecuadorian embassy driver could simply drive him through the Chunnel to a friendly country that will let him board a plane. He wouldn’t be able to leave the car to use the bathroom, which is a problem unless that country is France. Are there diplomatic RVs?

They could also drive the car onto a ferry that could sail out to international waters so a helicopter can pick up Assange, or it could just ferry him all the way to Guayaquil.

How would he get into the car though? The Ecuadorian embassy does not have a courtyard or a connected garage. On the other hand it appears to be on a low floor, so maybe they could pull up a diplomatic convertible next to the building and Assange could jump out from a window into the car. The British police might try to apprehend him mid-air, so I predict the construction of some kind of diplomatic chute that he will slide down. Alternatively they could soak him in oil so he’ll be too slippery to catch.

Update: Ecuador could also buy a flying diplomatic car for the trip.